· 1 min read
 · Shawn Crawford

I've spent a good part of my life sharing very little information with the general public. I'm not one who goes out of my way to spew out secrets or sensitive subjects about myself. I'm also not someone who will go out of my way to share my name and aspirations with someone I just met. I would rather discuss what is going on around us. However, I feel like I should be more open on this blog . I feel like a lot of my life is directed by fear. I want to share my thoughts and experiences with no fear. This medium seems like a good way to do just that.

My name is Shawn Crawford and I am. I am here in this room, sitting on my office chair at my desk typing on this keyboard. Mac Demarco is playing on my B&W speakers "Choo Choo, Take A Ride With Me" the lyrics are sung with a train horn playing in the background. I feel a significant connection to Mac's sound and lyrics. Life, Love, Happiness, Laughter, Loss, Sadness, Grief, Presence.

I live here. A one bedroom apartment in the corner of an old house built out into six apartments. I'm on the corner of an intersection along the main road into town. This road is taken to reach the coast from the main highway that goes up the valley. You can imagine the noise. Do you ever go through your memory, driving from one place to another? To see if you can do the entire drive in your mind. The turns and intersections? I do when I think to.

Lately, I've been in mind. Totally and inherently thinking while my mind is also thinking. While I'm thinking about someones expression I am thinking about how that feels to me. There is also a lower palette of thinking going on. This triad of thoughts is around throughout the day and I'm waiting for them to become one again. Well, at least two. I wonder how many thoughts can be going on that the psyche is consciously aware of? I'll have to look into that sometime.

"Bye bye, baby, baby bye bye."

-Mac Demarco